Tuesday, April 28, 2015

To Shave or Not to Shave....A Question Every Parent must answer for their Tween Daughter....

*Photo courtesy of the internet

Oh & Welcome to my new blog.  I have the other blog....ArtByASM but I wanted a fresh start.  So here I am.  I figured why not take this opportunity to share my adventures of being a mom.  I mean now that my kids are getting older, I feel like these real life dilemmas are coming up.  I wanted to share my experiences and maybe along the way, you'll get some answers....or not....

So here I am, contemplating, what will be my first post?  My daughter might not be fond of me sharing this but I know other daughters and mothers may just be faced with this same issue.  Yes, it's not a huge life changing event, well, actually for me it is.  It's a sign my daughter is getting "Older".  I don't like it one bit!  I miss deciding which diaper brand I should buy.  Now I'm in the hygiene aisle wondering which shaving product I should by for this girl I use to change diapers for.

I went on my Facebook page, posted the question....
"How old would you allow your daughter to shave her legs?  I say, not until she's married!"

The comments started rolling in.  In fact, the whole time I've been on Facebook and I'm a Facebook regular, I've never received so many comments until I posted this very question.  Obviously commented by women.  I know men who shave their legs, mainly for sport related reasons.

So here I got mostly the answer of between the ages of 11-13 is a good starting age frame.  Here was my dilemma.  My daughter is blonde.  That fine blonde hair that you can't even see but in the right light glistens on her legs.  Apparently light heartedly, she's had comments from peers.  Nothing negative but that's when she started questioning herself and me.  "I think I want to shave my legs."

What?  No!  It's not time!  Well that's great and all and I avoided it long enough, I envied the girls who had blonde hair you could barely see on their legs in school and among friends.  They could get away with not shaving.  Me, on the other hand, I was Sasquatch!  That good ol' dark haired hairy Italian girl who for some reason inherited her father's hair gene!  Why couldn't I be basically hairless like my mom or sister.  Why the heck did I have to be hairy like a man?  I could actually compare my arm hairs when I was younger to my brother's.  Our hair had the same hair growing pattern.  I had enough knicks on my legs that I would just cry because I had to shave.  Cursing that life was certainly not fair to me.  Well having kids changed that and I'm less hairy.  Though upkeep is necessary.

So let's get to back to my blonde beauty of a daughter I have.  I told her, once you start, there is no going back.  I wasn't going to give her a razor.  She's 11!  I found no comfort in her using a sharp object.  So instead I opted for an Electric Shaver like the one pictured in this post.  I bought it at Target, made by Remington.  Definitely cheaper in store than online.  So that was the plan, if I let her.  I begged her to change her mind.  Even though deep down inside I knew exactly what she was going through.  I don't think it's because she wasn't ready.  It's because as her mother, I wasn't ready.

Do you remember your first time shaving?  Is it the same life changing decision when a guy decides it's time to shave?  I remember my situation.  Okay, I grew up in an Italian immigrant household.  My mom didn't have any hair on her, I never once saw her shave.  I think I saw my sister who may I add is 13 years older than me shave maybe twice.  No one taught me, I don't think my mom even thought about it.  So I took it upon myself.  I don't know how old exactly I was but I remember the pain!  I took a glass of water, took my dad's or my brother's shaver, sat down and decided I was going to shave.  I think I didn't even finish shaving my first leg and thought to myself...."Forget This!".  I cut myself up and gave up.  I don't remember when I was officially shaving but I remember the agony of having to shave.  Feeling like I was removing a layer of skin.  My skin felt raw.  One time I did Nair.  Back then Nair smelled like a run over skunk.  I don't know if I left it on too long but my legs were on fire!  It was horrible and you know what?  It didn't even work!  So I can't say the pain was worth it!  I think I went most of my life having a love hate relationship with shaving!  I mean who ever says, "I love shaving!"?  The results are about a  minute smooth to the touch feeling.  Sneeze....and your hairs just grew!  You ladies know what I'm saying!  As I got older, I thought it would be so adult and cool of me to go get waxed, hey they said it lasts longer!  Yeah, it's painful no matter what but for someone who has stubborn Italian hair, not so cool.  In fact, it was so utterly painful, mind you, I am pretty good at handling pain, but that kind of pain of waxing is a whole new level of pain.  I think the woman who did about 2 strips on me, I said, "Enough!"  I got up, said no more, paid and said to myself....never ever again!  Haven't done it since and I use an electric shaver.  I don't care if I shaved.  I don't care if anyone knows that.  It's not easy being a hairy Italian girl though now it is a lot less.  Blessing?

Maybe that's why I decided to buy the electric shaver for my daughter.  To save her from life experiences of how to handle the whole leg shaving dilemmas.  So she didn't have to go through life trying to keep up with so many ways to torture yourself.  She'll have a whole lifetime of being a girl to do it because we all do it!

It seems now more often than ever with having a "Tween" new developments are happening.  Ones that I didn't find fun when I was her age.  Ya know, boys (she knows the rules and thank goodness she doesn't fall into that peer pressure), friends, friends who like boys, friends who swear, homework that actually makes me think and still wanting her to be my little baby girl.  Slowly, I am realizing that life for her and myself is changing.  I am not ready, I don't want to be ready.  But reality is, I have to face it, she's growing.  She's beautiful (that scares me), she's smart (Thank God!), she's respectful (when she's not moody) and she's just all around a great kid and girl and she respects herself, life, a great big sister and respects her parents.  I would think I had a huge part in that. 

So, if you're in the same predicament as me, I know you are not ready, you never will be.  You have to take every situation one situation at a time.  I gave in despite my con sheet of why she shouldn't shave her legs.  The cons were more for me.  So the pro is, she'll feel better about herself, the comments although she really could care less will no longer be and I with no razors, I am in comfort that I can rely on an electric shaver.  For the first time ever, I taught my daughter how to use an electric shaver.  Sounds small but for me it was huge.  She's happy....so I am happy.

Note:  You know your child best.  This was just my experience.  I got an all over comment response but I had to ultimately look at what responsible decision would be for my daughter in her individual situation.  Everyone is different and every situation is different.  So listen to your heart and listen to your child and make a decision together!

*In my blog I am not at the least concerned about grammatical errors.  So whatever is written, is going on in my chaotic little head of mine.

Stay Smooth....

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